Words. Ideas. Actions.

03 February 2023

This post started out with a much heavier topic than I wanted for a Friday night. So, I’ve postponed that one for next week. Instead, let’s revisit part of the conversation I had with my friend, Spencer, yesterday evening over a couple of dark pints, shall we? It may not be any less controversial, but It will certainly be a hell of a lot more fun.

When Spencer and I get together, we always have a ton of topics to talk about. But my favorite is music. And we talk about it a lot. Like, we could probably go on for days talking solely about the bands which were born out of the Los Angeles hair metal scene of the 80s. But I’ll spare you any more of that digression. One other topic which came up for us last night was the idea of perfect albums. And that’s what I want to explore a bit tonight.

For me, perfect albums are different from favorite albums, or even best albums. Perfect albums, in my book, have that magical combination of songwriting, performance, production, and packaging. They are simultaneously both of a time and timeless. Essentially, they’re flawless.

As I type these words, my intention is to list 11 of what I consider to be perfect albums. No greatest hits. No compilations. No EPs or live albums. Just a complete, well-thought out full-length release. Also, please note that 11 is an arbitrary number, based solely on my love of “This Is Spinal Tap”. There are obviously more than 11 perfect albums in the universe, but tonight is not the night to try and name them all. Nope, this is just an exercise to gather together what could probably be an extensive list of dozens down to less than a dozen.

So, in chronological order, here goes:

• John Coltrane– A Love Supreme [1965]
• Beach Boys- Pet Sounds [1966]
• Beatles– Revolver [1966]
• Janet Jackson– Control [1986]
• Cocteau Twins– Victorialand [1986]
• Guns N Roses– Appetite for Destruction [1987]
• Madonna– Like A Prayer [1989]
• Beastie Boys– Paul’s Boutique [1989]
• Public Enemy– Fear of a Black Planet [1990]
• Slayer– Seasons in the Abyss [1990]
• My Bloody Valentine– Loveless [1991]
• Jesus Lizard– Liar [1992]
• Liz Phair– Exile in Guyville [1993]
• Melvins– Houdini [1993]
• Soundgarden– Superunknown [1994]
• Björk– Post [1995]
• Failure– Fantastic Planet [1996]
• DJ Shadow– Endtroducing..... [1996]
• Cornelius– Fantasma [1997]
• Fiona Apple– When the Pawn … [1999]
• Pedro the Lion– Control [2002]
• Queens of the Stone Age– Songs for the Deaf [2002]
• Sigur Rós– ( ) [2002]
• Mastodon– Crack the Skye [2009]

Well, I tried. It’s way too hard to limit this to 11. And if I continued to think about it, I’d probably be able to add another two dozen before bed. But that’s the great thing about music: There’s always more to discover and discuss. Feel free to add your own perfect albums to this list, and we can talk about them together sometime.

See you tomorrow?

02 February 2023

Tonight, I want to follow up on a promise I made earlier this year, to spend more time with friends. Well, today, I over-delivered on that idea. I scheduled a lunch with a fellow dad from our daughter’s school. As I was waiting outside, I saw a very familiar face. My former Twitter colleague, Josh, who had the desk next to me for more than a year, happened to be in town, and was heading to a scheduled lunch date at the exact same restaurant at the exact same time as me! 

I was ecstatic to see him, and we made plans for something more formal when he’s back in the Bay Area in three weeks. My Dads Date™ lunch was remarkable as well. There’s something very calming about sharing your fears and expectations and recommendations with another guy trying to figure it all out. There’s no handbook for parenting, and any and all advice is great right up until you try it. But just having an trusted ear to bounce even the most ridiculous ideas off of and not getting judged is really calming for even the most anxiety inducing fears. 

From there, I biked to my favorite section of Valencia Street, grabbed a couple of books for a very important 9-year-old, and headed to a regular hang with one of my oldest friends. When someone has know you for — at this point — most of your life, there’s a lot of pretense you can dispense with. That’s one of the many reasons I love these regular get-togethers. As well as comparing notes about perfect albums. 

So, this is a reminder, both to myself and to you: Slow down and make time for your friendships. A bit like houseplants, they take a little work, but give you back way more than you put into them. 

See you tomorrow?

16 January 2023

While watching the Golden Globe awards last week, I was introduced to a movie I had no idea even existed: The Banshees of Inisherin. I didn’t know what it was about, or even who was in it, but as each new award came up, and the nominees were named, I got a lot more curious about what I was all about. So, this weekend, we sat down to watch it. 

One of the reasons I wanted to bump it to the top of my watch list was hearing how writer and director Martin McDonagh talked about male friendship. Now, I don’t want to spoil it for anybody, so let’s just say that a big theme in the film centers around how men navigate changes in their relationships with each other. There’s obviously a lot more nuance to the storytelling than that, but it reminded me of an episode of Welcome to Wrexham (which I finally binged of the holidays) that has stayed with me for weeks. 

In episode 17, called “Wromance,” there’s a lovely exploration of men and their friendships. It talks about how most of them are built around sport, or competition in general, and how different that is from how women build and sustain theirs. It was an interesting insight into the walls most men put up when creating the bonds with people we consider friends, and it reveals to me how rare it is to have close, emotional conversations between men.

So, this is a long introduction to the following thought for tonight: I am very grateful for the friends I have. Admittedly, I’m terrible at friendship I don’t know how to sustain them. I am awful at keeping in touch. I’m reluctant to take time away from my family for something which feels so selfish as spending a few hours watching a soccer match or seeing a band or just sitting quietly together over a couple of glasses of favorite beverages and having an intimate conversation about what’s going on with our lives, both good and bad. 

When I started drafting this post, I had one particular friend in mind. But now, as I think of the conversations I’ve cherished and felt grateful for over the last year, the number of people on the other end of them — even if they were just unexpected texts — became greater than I realized, making me rethink how many people I have in my court. I sincerely hope that they all know how much they mean to me. And I am publicly pledging to be better about letting them know just how much this year. And if you’re one of the few people who regularly read these, there’s a good chance I owe you a text, at the very least, to just say, “thanks.”

See you tomorrow?